Too Much Bikini Bottom
by xena99
Summary: In this episode, poor SpongeBob finds himself ailing. Can there really be too much bikini bottom?


**Title: Too Much Bikini Bottom**

_Disclaimer: All the characters in this parody do not belong to me in any way, shape or form. They rightfully belong to their original creator(s) and Nickelodeon. Well, except maybe Dr. Daggertooth, Nurse Needletooth and Tubeshoulder the X-ray Tech. They are all named after ocean fish. I don't know if they exist anywhere but here. _

_**AN:** Hi. I'm a newbie. This is my first piece. I'd appreciate any review and feedback. I hope you enjoy this little story._

* * *

And now: Too Much Bikini Bottom

The alarm blasted the quiet room with a jittery chime that could aggravate the most unruffled person. SpongeBob merely rolled over in bed and shut the alarm off. His head was dizzy, his body hurt and he could feel last night's krabby patties still sitting in his stomach. He was ailing.

"Ooooohhhhh, Gary" SpongeBob moaned. "Gary, I don't feel so good."

"Meow," Gary the snail responded and opened one eye lid.

"Gary, feel sorry for me, I'm sick!" SpongeBob said with annoyance.

Gary crawled up the bedpost, onto SpongeBob's legs, his belly, and then his chest. There he sat, starring into SpongeBob's eyes. "Meow", Gary said.

"Gary, go get Patrick, tell him I'm sick. He'll know what to do," urged SpongeBob. "Please, Gary. Get help!"

Gary scurried out the pineapple house and over to Patrick's rock. Patrick raised the rock and said, "Oh, hi Gary! Did you come over to play? Let's go catch jellyfish, okay?"

Gary just blinked. Patrick said, "Gary, are you here to get me because something is terribly wrong with my best friend in the whole world? Are you here to save the day and get me to SpongeBob so I can rescue him? Are you telling me that SpongeBob is ill and needs my help? Are you? Are you? "

Gary blinks.

"Okay, then Gary," Patrick said. "Take me to SpongeBob."

Once Patrick arrived in the pineapple house, he saw that SpongeBob was indeed in trouble. He said, "SpongeBob, I'm no Doctor, but I think you need to go to one...now."

"No, Patrick!" SpongeBob cried. "Not the Doctor! The Doctor does horrible, scary things and doesn't really make you feel better. What if he gives me a shot? How horrible! No! Patrick, no!," SpongeBob continued to have a fit.

"SpongeBob, you are a sponge. You're not going to feel any needle. Are we going to have to do this the hard way?" Patrick asked. SpongeBob continued to cry. "I guess so. Gary, bring the car around front."

In no time at all, Patrick and Gary had SpongeBob tied to the hood of the car and they reached the hospital. Soon they were waiting while Doctor Daggertooth and Nurse Needlefish examined Spongebob.

"Hhhhmmm, Spongebob," Dr. Daggertooth commented as he listened to Spongebob's belly, "I think this is a very serious case and we are going to need to take an x-ray."  
"An X-RAY!...No, not and X-RAY!" Spongebob yelled!

"Nurse Needletooth, take Spongebob it the x-ray room and have Tubeshoulder, the Tech, take a picture of Spongebob."

In the x-ray room, as Tubeshoulder the Tech set up the machine, Spongebob shook with fear. "Patrick, will you stay with me? I'm scared," he cried.

"Of course, Spongebob, I'm always here for my bestest friend."

Tubeshoulder the Tech told Spongebob to hold his breath. Spongebob did. And the x-ray exposure was on. Both Spongebob and Tube shoulder frightenly noticed a strange glowing in the room. It was Patick! His whole star-body was glowing!

"Daaaa, Spongbob....what's going on?" Patrick asked in fear. "How come I'm glowing? Oh no I glow GREEN! And LOOK, Spongebob, I can see my insides!" Patrick exclaimed with distress. "Now whatta I do?"

"Patrick," Spongbob said queezily, "You're making me sicker, you gotta get outta here!" And just like that, the glow was gone. Patrick' insides where hidden.

"Hey," Patrick said, "That was kinda neat. Can we do it again?"

"No," Tubeshoulder said, "I don't think I could take that again!"

Patrick and poor sick Spongebob went back to Dr. Daggertooth.

"Hhhmmph," said Dr. Daggertooth looking through his eyeglasses at Spongebob's x-ray. "I can't say I've ever seen anything like this. Nurse Needletooth!" He called, "prepare the operating room, this patient needs EMERGENCY SURGERY!"

"HUH?" Exclaimed SpongeBob! "I can't have surgery! I'm a sponge! No! You can't do this! Help me Patrick!"

"Daaa, I don't think I can stay for this SpongeBob," said Patrick as he backed through the door. "I'll see ya later!"

"SpongeBob," Dr. Daggertooth said, "Look at your x-ray. Do you see all these objects?"

"No, I don't", said SpongeBob

"Well, these things are not good for you. I am absolutely certain, these things are not good for you! They must come out at once!" insisted Dr. Daggertooth. "Nurse, are you ready?"

"Mr. SpongeBob is prepped and ready, Dr. Daggertooth!" sang Nurse Needletooth.

"Very good, I need my instruments. Is the patient asleep?" Asked Dr. Daggertooth.

"I think so,"

"Good, let's begin"

Dr. Daggertooth took the scalpel and slowly tried to make a precise incision into him. But, nothing happened. There was no cut, no incision.

"This is very strange" said a confused Dr. Daggertooth. "How can this be?" Then he remembered something his patient said, "I'm a sponge!"

"Doh! Silly me! Of course, that's it!" Explained Dr. Daggertooth. "Nurse Needletooth, grab hold of SpongeBob's feet. Quickly...we must move quickly! I'll take his head. Now at the count of three, you twist him to your the right and I'll twist him to my right. We are going to "squeeze" these terrible things out of him! Ready? 1, 2, 3!"

And with that, Dr. Daggertooth and Nurse Needletooth twisted and squeezed and squeezed SpongeBob. As they did, an amazing thing happened. Out of SpongeBob came the most incredible things. Out came buckets of sand from the ocean floor, and a bucket. Out came an old boot, a rusty can, hairpins, a smoker's pipe, Patrick's tennis racket. With another squeeze, out came Squidward's flute, Gary's kitty munchies, a jelly fish, 2 bags of sardines, a captains hat, a toy boat, a necklace, six jelly beans, a baseball, and several pieces of coral reef. As they kept squeezing, out came a trumpet fish, a can of oil, a sock, a toothbrush, a pheasant egg, an ice cream cone, one dozen sea horses and finally, last night's krabby patties!

"Whew," said Dr. Daggertooth! "That was quite a squeeze!"

SpongeBob woke up like and couldn't believe how good he felt. He was himself again. "Hey! I feel great! I don't believe it! What did you do Doc? It's a miracle! I'm not the least bit sick anymore!"

Modestly, Dr. Daggertooth said, "It was nothing SpongeBob, really. You just need to be squeezed. You've been absorbing a little too much of Bikini Bottom I'm afraid to say! We are going to have to work on your absorbency issues."

"WHAT?!?! You did WHAT?" cried SpongeBob. "Oh, no, Dr. Daggertooth! We're in trouble!" SpongeBob was frantic. "Oh, no! I can't believe it!" He began pacing around the room. "This is the worst thing possible! How could this happen?" SpongeBob was very distressed. He kept ringing his hands and pacing the floor.

"Why, SpongeBob, what is it?" Dr. Daggertooth asked with concern. "You are feeling so much better. What could possibly be distressing you so?"

SpongeBob sat down and began to cry. "Don't you understand, don't you see?" he sobbed, "My HMO won't cover squeezing!"

The End!


End file.
